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repentantsoul
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Name: Jonathan
Country: United States
State: Georgia
Metro: Macon
Gender: Male
Interests: reading, writing, and 'rithmetic...minus the 'rithmetic…----------------------------------
...simon & garfunkle, underoath, beloved (rip), cool hand luke, johnny cash, five iron frenzy (rip), david crowder, bob dylan, jimmy eat world, mewithoutYou, keith green, eisley, -------------------
a life that makes much of Him...(renown)
Expertise: not having an expertise...i'm a renaissance man...(and i'm a history/political science and english double major...so i pretend to be an "expert" there)...
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  repentantsoul2
Member Since:
9/21/2003
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| If thou must love me, let it be for nought Except for love's sake only. Do not say "I love her for her smile--her look--her way Of speaking gently,--for a trick of thought That falls in well with mine, and certes brought A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"-- For these things in themselves, Beloved, may Be changed, or change for thee,--and love, so wrought, May be unwrought so. Neither love me for Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,-- A creature might forget to weep, who bore Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby! But love me for love's sake, that evermore Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.
-EBB
Call me a hopeless romantic if you want. I first discovered this poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning in a book called "The Difficult Doctrine of the Love of God." It used it in relation to the fact that we are nothing. We are worthless beings and do not merit God's love by any means. God's love for us does not originate because we are so cute, lovable, or for any reason that we affect, but simply because God is good.This is so infinitely true. It is good to be put in my place every now and then all the time. God loves us simply because He is that amazing, awesome, gracious, good, and so many other things; not because we are so lovable. And one day I hope to love in such a way. With my friends. With my enemies. And one day with a wife. (Of course...it's always more fun if the person is lovable. But true love is not contingent upon the recipient of that love, but on the person giving the love.) | | |
| Family
So I have been living in Macon with my family since graduation.
It has been good and trying at the same time.
Good in the time I've had to spend with my family.
Stephen (brother) started school back 2 weeks ago.
He's starting wingback for his football team.
And their first game is Thursday night.
(If you live near Fairburn Rd. you should come.)
Anna (sister) is a sophomore and transferred to GCSU in Milledgeville.
Sometimes I think she is stronger than she realizes and sometimes I think she thinks she is stronger than she is.
She's great though.
My parents just celebrated 25 years of marriage.
Trying in that Macon has greatly been lacking in providing peers for me to get to know/spend time with.
a.k.a. - lonely
This brings me to...
Friends
They have not abounded in Macon.
Perhaps the school year provides more opportunity for getting to know people (though I hope to not be around to find out).
I suppose any "post-college" life is going to be somewhat different.
I am no longer living on a college campus with my best friends as roomates and neighbors.
That isolation and not having those friends close at hand has been rough this summer.
but
Grant and Heather got married this past weekend.
They are now the Kerseys.
Aside from how awesome the wedding itself was, the weekend was made even better by the time I got to spend with my amazing friends: Nate, Brian, Brandon, Tommy, Murph, Sam, Nick, Kristen, J Murph, Jacobs, Kate, Andy, B. Go, and obviously Grant and Heather.
That list, however, is not as complete as it should be.
Three days in Rome is just a tease.
I didn't get to spend time with another several handfuls of people with whom I would have loved to spend hours.
HECK (collectively and individually), Bonnie, Megs, J.Fo, Parker, Renee, and I am sure a dozen other people I am forgetting.
and
One or two jobs to which I am applying would provide circumstances in which I could live with Nate, Nick, and Eric in Atlanta.
Sounds good to me.
Romance
(yeah...nothing here)
Work
I have been working at Emmanuel Church as the "youth intern" this summer.
Every time the topic of my last day comes up with the pastor he tells me he's in "no hurry for me to leave."
(Let me make the point that this is because there is no youth pastor. As soon as I leave he goes back to teaching the youth on Wednesday nights again. He loves the youth but it would be another preparation for him to do.)
I am currently applying to different places. The one generating the most enthusiasm?
Chick-fil-a Corporate
-It would be an IT position at the corporate office. It would pretty much be amazing. Full-time. Amazing company. Benefits. The most amazing lunch ever every day.
(Yes, they have dining for their employees.
Not only Chick-fil-a sandwiches, but full meals...meats, veggies, etc.
Yeah. Me too.)
I am also realizing that any job involving either of my majors (History/Political Science or English) that intrigues me in the least bit requires some sort of advanced degree.
So the plan is to work to pay off what I owe from Shorter.
Then...
Here's to more school.
Faith
Over the whole summer I have wrestled with my desire for God (or, more accurately, the lack thereof).
It is not my responsibility to create desire. But I'm not off the hook.
Just because I can't create desire doesn't mean that I can't create an environment to foster desire.
But if I don't desire then what is my motivation?
Remembering the cross.
How can I look at the cross of Christ and not be moved?
The cross that bears witness and embodies the Gospel of the glory of Jesus Christ.
To neglect the cross is to neglect everything.
"And how can I stand here with You,
And not be moved by You?"
-Lifehouse
"Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him
For the help of His presence."
Psalm 42:5
"I may be down but I will rise,
It may be dark but God is light...
By the cross You are the truth,
You are the life, You are the way."
-Charlie Hall
end
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| My patience is faltering.
I don't feel like trying anymore.
But simultaneously can't stop.
You figure it out.
Am I worth it?
Are you?
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| Amazing grace
How sweet the sound
That saves a wretch like me
I once was lost
And now I'm found
Was blind but now I see
I just wanna see
I'm the type of person who lets fear drive
I'm the type of guy who lets it drive
Cause I'm addicted, I'm needy,
I'm lost without You
I need You
I need You
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| Today, May 18, and tomorrow, May 19, are the dates for the Georgia Republican Party State Convention volunteering. I knew it had been coming but had no plans of attending...until, that is, I got a speeding ticket Tuesday night. Volunteers for the convention are being paid ten dollars an hour, amounting to about enough to cover my speeding ticket. Obviously, I couldn't pass it up. So I just spent the day at the Convention.
I have become so cynical lately about American politics (see April 8 entry). I walked through the vendor hall today and saw all this Republican Party paraphernalia. Whatever...but the kinds of things that irked me most were the booths set up for the "Georgia Christian Alliance" who exists to "Network Conservatives to Impact Public Policy." Great. I'm all for tweaking public policy. But what makes this alliance "Christian?" Is it their pro-life stance? Well when was the last time they took the time to show love and compassion to a woman contemplating abortion? Anti-gay marriage position? When was the last time one of them had a real conversation with a homosexual about the love of Christ? My point is not to condone sin or even forsake an attempt to change public policy. I think that effort for change has its place. My point is that so many organizations, such as the Georgia Christian Alliance, represent a great imbalance. We try to shape the behavior of people by changing public policy, but when was the last time we tried to exhibit the love of Christ to people in a serving and Christ-like manner? I'm not saying condone their behavior. But take note, that Jesus didn't condemn the filthy prostitutes and tax collectors for their sin. (He condemned the pharisees for theirs.) But those who were considered unfit, He loved and they changed with that love. You can change people's behavior by force, but their hearts will only be changed when we stop shoving our agenda down their throats and love them as Christ would have.
So sure...share your policy, but first let me see your love for those your policy targets.
*disclaimer-I'm not trying to come across high and mighty. I'm challenging myself as much as anyone else.
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